Crocodile Tears

The silly tears of an even sillier clown.

What is it with all of that goofy Glenn Beck crying? Dubbed the “Crying Conservative,” Beck tears up like a baby at the drop of a hat.

According to Common Nonsense, a tell-all biography of Beck by Brooklyn freelance journalist Alexander Zaitchik, Beck has been using phony tears throughout his long career. They represent Beck’s signature schtick for his nutty radio and TV routines.

One radio colleague from Beck’s days as a New Haven morning zoo DJ (nice background for an influential opinion pundit and thought leader) says that he would begin crying on the air about something, quickly revert to cool control during the commercial, and then immediately start crying again when the show resumed.

Please Don’t Cry, Glenda

While on television, Beck cried so often that many viewers began to call him Glenda.  Of course, Beck’s tears, like most of his absurd rodeo clown act, represent nothing but the most cynical stagecraft. The lachrymose Beck can apparently summon up his tears at will. Whatever works (sells), right, Glenda? 

Beck uses his phony tears to beguile the more impressionable viewers and listeners to his broadcasts that he truly cares about the nutty issues he routinely brings up on the air. That’s a laugh. Thee only thing Beck cares about is himself. He is the ideal poster child for rank insincerity.

Beck is Like a Spider

A certain spider species, Nephila pilipes, common to Taiwan’s tropical Lan-Yu Island, include arachnids (the proper term for spiders, which are not insects) that feature bright yellow markings on their legs and abdomens.

Nephila‘s beautiful colored markings  look just like attractive flowers to approaching victim bees. These spiders enjoy excellent hunting success by luring in their prey with their bright colors. Through his false tears,
Beck does the same with gullible viewers and listeners.

Of course, the nephila dumbly follows nature’s plan for its deception. In contrast, Beck, makes a conscious, deliberate, and completely jaded decision to use his tears to lure in, and thus trick, his viewers and listeners, who are as much his victims as are bees that nephila lures to their deaths. Indeed, nothing can be more indicative of the deep contempt Beck feels for his audience (and himself) than his artificial tears.  

I Don’t Just Cry: I Also Rant and Rave and Scream Like a Nut.

Watch the following YouTube montage of Glenn Beck as he makes racist charges concerning President Obama, sobs and cries, and screams in an insane manner at a listener to his radio show. See Beck go purposely out of his way to correct his spelling of oligarch on his chalkboard – and still get the word wrong. To view, click on this link.

Wow! Watching Beck at work is quite a video experience, isn’t it! It’s like going to the dentist and getting all of your teeth pulled while one assistant also cuts off your leg and the other steals your wallet. As a TV and radio broadcaster, Beck relies on one faculty more than any other: his voice.  One of my favorite authors, Stanley Elkin, says that the the “voice is the sound the soul makes.” If so, I wonder what Beck’s soul looks like? Best not to think about that.

After watching the video, consider this: According to those on the right, including his many bamboozled admirers, Beck is supposed to be an important role model for America, and an inspirational leader for the Tea Party movement, right? Don’t make me laugh – or cry.

And here is one more Glenn Beck video mash-up (apparently, YouTube has hundreds of them). It shows the bawling Beck in all of his over-the-top creepiness. Can you believe that million of people across the United States get their opinions from this nut? Click this link to watch. – Mickey Murphy © 2011 MMMurphy

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